Flight Feathers
by marshtomp madness
Summary: Sanzo/Goku.  Goku sprouts wings in a disturbingly literal sense.  Sanzo is affected by this in ways that not even the Merciful Goddess could've predicted.


AN: The rating is for boys crushing on one another, lots of feather touching, and also Sanzo being a pottymouth. The reason this story exists is that my other story, Causatum, needs more UST and _obviously_ the way to practice is with two characters whose love story is as radically different from Draco's and Harry's as it can possibly be.

Also, I just watched the Saiyuki Gaiden OVA.

Also-also, this fic is monster-length and I don't know how that happened.

* * *

><p>It was 4:13 a.m. when the wings first appeared.<p>

The way that Goku told the story later was that a sudden heavy weight on his back woke him up. It also woke up Sanzo, sleeping on the floor (unlucky enough to not win the card games for the bed that night), as something tickled his nose. He sneezed, which woke him, and he sat up almost instantly, hand on his gun.

"What the hell- "

Goku had huge, white wings, ripped through the back of his shirt as though they had sprouted from his back. For a moment, Sanzo thought he was still dreaming. They weren't like bird wings, they were extra appendages on Goku's shoulders. There were a bunch of short feathers at the top, but a lot of longer, thicker ones at the bottom, too. He couldn't even begin to gauge how big the wings were, and he was decidedly not wondering where they had come from, because that could wait until later. A feather fell off and landed on Sanzo.

Goku sat up slowly.

Sanzo picked up the feather and stared at it. The light caught it in a way that it did not catch bird wings- it reflected off of it like a pearl, faintly glimmering, and the middle part where the feather was fluffy (_afterfeather_, anatomy books read when he was younger told him) was so soft he wouldn't even have known he was touching it if it weren't for the fact that he could see where his finger bent it.

"Wings!" Goku said excitedly, trying out new muscles that had never existed until this moment. "Sanzo, check it out, I have _wings_!"

Sanzo stared at him. How the hell could Goku be so excited about this? It was obviously magic and it was obviously not going to be good and it was going to be extremely noticeable and they would never be able to go anywhere without problems ever again. The wings spun in different directions, feathers falling everywhere. Sanzo dodged a move that might've broken his nose, had the wing actually hit him.

Hakkai stirred in the other bed, and Gojyo sat up from his place on the floor beside it. There was a moment where they glanced at the wings and didn't know what to say, because this was a weirdness that admittedly none of them had encountered before.

But they got over it pretty fast.

"So uh, that's new," said Gojyo.

"He just woke up like this," said Sanzo gruffly.

"Okay," said Gojyo, "I am_ pretty sure_ that magic doesn't work that way. And when it does, bad shit is happening."

"Well, apparently something does work that way," said Hakkai, rubbing his eyes and putting on his monocle. He peered at Goku. "But it doesn't look like he's continuing to transform."

"What if I turn into a bird?" asked Goku. "Or... or something."

"I don't think so," said Sanzo, without really meaning to.

Everyone looked at him.

"I don't know why," he admitted. "I just think... this is the only thing that's going to happen. It doesn't _feel_ evil. It's not a bad thing."

There was a moment of silence as they all stared at Sanzo. He began to feel uncomfortable under their gaze. Goku was the one with _wings_, why were they all looking at him? And anyway, he didn't know how he knew. He just knew that the wings were inherently good, even if they were going to be the biggest pain he had ever dealt with. But he didn't know how to even begin to explain how he knew.

"So," said Gojyo conversationally, "it is four in the fucking morning and I want to go back to sleep."

"I think we should leave," said Hakkai. "It's going to be pretty difficult getting past all the townspeople in the morning without notice. We're going to need a way to disguise the wings. And we need to figure out what they are and if we can have them removed, or something."

"So... I guess I'm sleeping in the Jeep."

Hakkai smiled pleasantly.

"I guess you are."

Goku twitched the left one, then the right one, again, trying to find his range of motion, or something. Sanzo didn't really care. He just watched, not really thinking about the fact that he was staring. In one feather, the pearly luminescence had been mildly interesting, but the whole wings were something else entirely. They caught the moonlight like-

Like nothing he'd ever seen before.

"Sanzo?" asked Hakkai gently.

"Right," said Sanzo, snapping his attention back to the present.

"We're going to go while it's dark out," Hakkai said. "Get up. I'll drive. Goku gets shotgun, because I don't think he'll appreciate his new limbs dragging on the ground at 60 miles per hour."

Goku was trying to twist himself around to feel the wings for himself. Sanzo realized that he was still holding the feather, and tossed it to the side.

"That's fine," he said. "Let's go."

They left some money on the counter at the front, and snuck out to Hakuryu, who was woken up as quietly as they could manage (okay, so sneaking out of town had been something that they had long ago distilled to an exact science), and then there was the matter of fitting Goku's wings into the backseat.

The wings kind of dragged on the ground a little as they walked to the Jeep. Goku picked them up.

"They're heavier this way," he complained. "I mean, I guess I can deal with it, but it's… weird."

They were, indeed, rather large- approximately five feet or so in either direction, Sanzo could see now.

"Look," said Gojyo, gesturing at the bottom of the wings. "They aren't dirty. Freaky."

"You know," said Hakkai, "I wonder if this means there might be something to Sanzo's feeling that the wings aren't inherently... well, bad."

Hakkai got into the drivers' seat, while Gojyo and Sanzo got into the back. Goku got into shotgun, and then had to arrange his right wing around Gojyo's feet. The other one lay across Sanzo's lap in a kind of awkward position, sort of upside down, with the flight feathers half out over Sanzo's door. Goku informed him that they would need to do something about this soon, because it was going to cramp. Wing cramps, Sanzo thought, were among the things that he never thought he'd have to worry about in his entire life.

Gojyo was snoring.

"Stupid monkey," said Sanzo, pushing at the wings, which were quickly becoming uncomfortable. Only, he didn't actually want to hurt Goku, unsure of how much pressure was too much, so he mostly ended up pushing at them gently. The feathers slipped through his fingers.

"Oh, God," Goku murmured, his eyes shutting. He shifted in his seat in an obvious way. "Oh, _God_. That's- that's like- "

"Oh my," said Hakkai, catching Sanzo's eye in the rearview mirror and raising an eyebrow at him_._

Sanzo pulled his hand away as if the feathers had burnt him, and raised his eyebrows right back at Hakkai, who frowned and shook his head. Sanzo sank back in his seat, suddenly extremely uncomfortable with himself. Mostly because of how he really wanted to see if Goku reacted that way every time.

He kept his hands the hell away from the feathers after that.

The sun rose, and with the gradual lightening of the sky, the real beauty in Goku's feathers could be seen. Sanzo glanced to Hakkai, wondering if he saw it too, and the way that Hakkai's eyes traveled over the feathers told him that yes, in fact, Hakkai absolutely understood.

"We'll have to cover them," said Hakkai. "There's no other way."

When Gojyo woke up and the arguing got to be too much, they decided to stop in the nearest town and form a plan of action.

* * *

><p>"So," said Hakkai, pulling out a pad of paper on which he had written.<p>

"You've been taking notes?" asked Gojyo, sounding moderately horrified. "That's... putting way too much thought into this. When did you even have time to do that?"

"This _is_ kind of serious," Hakkai said, frowning at Gojyo. "But here's what I've got so far. The feathers are not bird feathers, nor is the bone structure of the wings typical of your average bird. The wings have no apparent use- it might be possible for Goku to fly with them, but why would that be necessary? They will, in fact, probably be more of a hindrance, as they will call ridiculous amounts of attention to us."

"Yeah," said Goku, "with the cloaks on, most people just assume I'm a hunchback."

"Which is admittedly not much less noticeable than thinking you've got wings," said Hakkai. "A hunchbacks wouldn't stand out quite as much, but it's not inconspicuous either way. Anyway, there's no way to retract them, and his powers thus far make the wings... well, redundant."

Sanzo frowned.

"So why would he even have them?"

Hakkai shrugged.

"All I can think is that it's a cosmic joke," he said, smiling in a way that made it clear that he didn't find it very funny.

"Great," said Gojyo. "So, any way to remove them?"

"Probably not." Hakkai sighed.

"I kinda like them," said Goku. "I think I look more badass."

"Yes, well," said Hakkai, "bright side to everything, I suppose."

* * *

><p>And it went all right, for a few days.<p>

They went from town to town, mercifully not being recognized as the Sanzo party because everyone knew the Sanzo party didn't have a hunchback. Of course, that all ended when they ran into an old acquaintance from another town who recognized them.

So, that story traveled too.

This close to the epicenter of the minus wave, they were beginning to have serious problems with youkai coming after them with alarming numbers. Once word of the Sanzo party's "new" member spread, things got very difficult.

And Sanzo could have sworn that Goku ate even more than usual.

"Sanzo," said Goku one night, in that sort of whiny pleading way he always had, "do you think we're gonna make it all the way west without people finding out?"

Sanzo was silent for a minute, thinking.

"Sanzo?"

"No," said Sanzo, going by instinct and pessimism. "Because something's gonna happen, you're gonna lose your cloak in front of a bunch of youkai and it's gonna be all over the country by morning the next day. Or an innkeeper's gonna see it. And soon, somebody's gonna start wondering about the feathers you leave all over the place."

Goku picked one up, tried to throw it, although being a feather, it actually went backwards and floated to the ground lazily.

"Hakkai get any ideas on where they came from yet?"

"We'd have told you if he did," said Sanzo, watching the feather fall.

Goku was silent again for a minute.

"Sanzo?"

"What _now_?"

"Can you... fix them?"

Sanzo stared at him, wondering what the hell that meant. Goku stretched one of his wings out, lying on his back with his hands behind his head. He sat up. The motion of the wings was still so strange to watch.

Sometimes, they were so fully a part of Goku, and sometimes, like now, they seemed foreign. They'd had to fix Goku's shirt, make it so that he could take it on and off, but he said it was still uncomfortable, so frequently he took it off at night. Hakkai and Sanzo and Gojyo had each inspected the place where wing met shoulderblade, and the transition from skin to feather was seamless, as if it had always been that way. No simple cut-and-paste job, this was the work of the gods.

Which was, in a way, something Sanzo had been hoping was not the case. If the gods were involved... well, that usually meant mess.

Sanzo dragged his eyes away from it.

"Look," Goku said, and Sanzo wanted to say _I am trying desperately _not_ to do that _but managed to restrain himself, "the feathers are all messed up. It's the cloak, it's kinda uncomfortable but it isn't too bad. It's just... I don't know. It's like having someone tugging on your hair, constantly."

Okay. Fine. They did look kinda ruffled. Goku tried to flatten them, but Sanzo could tell it was an awkward angle to try to reach, kind of like that one spot in the middle of the shoulder blades, only worse.

"Sit over here," Sanzo said, because knowing something was a bad idea had never yet precluded him from doing it, and he wasn't about to start listening to good sense now. Goku eagerly scrambled to comply.

"Like this?" Sanzo asked, combing his fingers through the feathers the way Goku had been trying to do.

"Yeah," said Goku, sighing. "That's just right."

Sanzo found it kind of relaxing. He had one task, and he focused on it, which was practically the definition of meditation. Goku was quiet the whole time, and Sanzo was careful to avoid the flight feathers after what had happened in the Jeep, although if he looked closely at Goku- which he tried to avoid doing, he tried to focus on fixing the feathers of the wings so that they all pointed in the same direction- he could tell that Goku did not mind this, not at all.

Sanzo didn't say anything, but felt his cheeks heat up, which was the stupidest thing ever. He had never blushed in his life and he didn't want to start now. Unfortunately, his face had other ideas on the matter.

"There," he said, doing one last cursory check. Loose feathers littered the floor around them. Sanzo kicked at them.

"Thanks, Sanzo," said Goku cheerily, sitting up and getting back into his bed. Luckily, he didn't look back at Sanzo.

Sanzo lay back and pulled up the covers, turning away.

"If you're grateful, get the lights so we can go to sleep."

"All right."

Sanzo did eventually fall asleep, but it was a damn hard thing to do.

* * *

><p>Of course, Goku lost his cloak in front of a few youkai the very next day. It got caught on a branch. Or Goku threw it off because he was tired of the whole charade. Sanzo <em>really<em> wasn't sure.

"Holy shit," one said.

The others had started backing away, some of them dropping their weapons. Goku stretched out his wings lazily, grinning in a way that even Sanzo found unnerving.

"Yeah, that's right," he said. "I'm something you've never even heard of before. They don't even have a name for me."

Sanzo, Hakkai, and Gojyo all simultaneously cringed in embarrassment, although it did seem to frighten most of the demons.

"I bet you bleed just like anything else," said one of the braver ones.

"Wanna find out?" said Goku, summoning the Nyoi-bo.

Half the youkai ran at that point. The other fifteen or so scowled and clenched their weapons more tightly. One of them threw his knife. It clipped the side of Goku's face, which took some of the steam out of his bravado, especially when a drop of blood ran down the side of his face. Sanzo watched it with a sinking heart.

Lucky shot, but they'd have to fight now, because the stupid youkai thought they had a chance.

"I think we just did," said one of the uglier ones. "You aren't that special."

"I don't know," said a ratty-haired girl. "Still looks pretty strong to me."

"I bet if we kill it, we get its powers," said one with nasty looking sharp teeth.

"Should we step in?" asked Hakkai. "I mean, there are kind of a lot of them."

"He's fine," said Sanzo, as Goku whacked three of them with the staff in one hit. "But I need a little stress release."

In the end, Hakkai was the only one who didn't fight. Gojyo and Sanzo got in their fair share, although Goku took out most of them. It ended up really being just a warmup. Sanzo, frankly, didn't even feel winded.

"Right," said Hakkai, "so that's our cover, blown. I still think you should wear the cloak, though."

Goku nodded with resignation, which was odd, because Sanzo had at least been expecting some kind of whining protest. But then again, he realized, Goku wasn't as much of a kid anymore.

"So what're we gonna get to eat?" Goku asked instead, and nobody chastised him this time.

* * *

><p>As things turned out, when the news spread people tended to go one of three ways. One (and most common, thankfully) was that people continued to assume that Goku was a hunchback as long as the cloak was on, and that he was therefore <em>not<em> the winged monster capable of killing fifty men at fifty paces with a mere glance that they had heard about. Two (and second most common, unfortunately) was that Goku would unintentionally show someone a bit of the wings, and they would be run out of town, despite the presence of Genjo Sanzo.

Third, and least common, also unfortunately, was that people would see the wings independent of hearing the rumors and assume that Goku was something to be worshipped.

After leaving the first and only town to do that so far, where Goku had been revered as a god and Sanzo had for once been second, they were all extremely sorry.

"Man," said Goku, "think we could get that to happen again?"

"All the women wanted to know what it was like traveling with His Eminence," said Gojyo. "So yeah, I'm also voting for a repeat. Or we could visit again. I think there were a few that I didn't get a chance to talk to, one-on-one. And the ladies need to hear all the stories of our bravery. And also mine."

"How utterly selfless of you," said Hakkai, uncharacteristically bitter. "Those poor women. I don't know why we don't turn back around _right now_."

Sanzo glanced at him, surprised.

"Hey," said Gojyo, who suddenly looked pissed for no apparent reason that Sanzo knew of, "you're the one who- "

Only Sanzo didn't get to hear what Hakkai had done, because Gojyo cut himself off right there, folded his arms, and sank back in his seat, staring determinedly out the window. They drove the rest of the way to the nearest town in an uncomfortable silence, much different from their usual cranky camaraderie.

* * *

><p>The attacks did come, and they managed to deal with them with alarming ease, having shaken off the unknown problems between Hakkai and Gojyo and the awkwardness Sanzo felt around Goku with a big dinner and a good night's rest. Maybe the problems weren't buried, but at least they didn't have to deal with them.<p>

Sanzo privately guessed that the reason for the relative lack of difficulty with their new opponents was that the only youkai stupid enough to fall for the rumors were also not strong enough to be higher in the hierarchy of youkai, which was where the real truth of the matter had always been known.

Kougaiji and his teammates, in fact, made no appearances, even though they expected them. Sanzo briefly wondered if they were all right, then realized that was the dumbest reaction ever. Kougaiji and his teammages were their mortal enemies.

Still, at least they were brighter than this bunch.

"So," said Hakkai cheerfully, "how're things?"

He shot another ball of flame into a group of youkai who were advancing on them. Goku was busily mowing down five at a time.

Sanzo shot without even really aiming, just checking to make sure that where his gun was pointed didn't have any relation to where Goku or Gojyo were. If at all possible, he tried to shoot to wound, not to kill, because seriously, the numbers of demons he had thus far killed was starting to get pretty high. Hakkai, guarding his back, was automatically out of the line of fire.

"Fine," said Sanzo, reloading for the moment, as it briefly seemed safe to do so.

"Is Goku all right?" Hakkai asked.

"He's fine," said Sanzo.

"Are you sure?"

"Why wouldn't he be?"

There was a pause. Sanzo glanced back to make sure Hakkai hadn't gotten on the wrong end of some kind of weapon, and when this was confirmed, he checked back on the groups that were coming after them.

"It's just," said Hakkai, in between bursts of fireballs, "I really think- well, he's kind of... well, you know. Freaking out."

Sanzo thought over it. Goku had been asking Sanzo to fix his wings more nights lately, but he hadn't seen Goku "freaking out".

"News to me," said Sanzo.

"Oh," said Hakkai, "so I guess he _didn't_ ask you about whether or not this was some kind of punishment from the gods."

"Definitely not."

"I probably shouldn't have told you that, then," said Hakkai, sighing.

It stung, that Goku hadn't asked him. Sanzo didn't really know what to say.

"Well, forget I mentioned it, then," said Hakkai.

* * *

><p>Only Sanzo couldn't forget, and it was made all the more difficult by the fact that nightly, Goku asked Sanzo to fix the feathers. Two nights later, Sanzo had almost gotten used to the feeling. And it had been a long day. Sanzo had been actually relieved when Goku had, as he had for the previous week, demanded that Sanzo comb his wings.<p>

Yes, Sanzo was beginning to like it. Despite the fact that it involved one of the main things that made Sanzo intensely uncomfortable: namely, touching other people. Which only proved you could get used to anything, Sanzo thought, as he stared down at Goku's shoulders and smoothed down a particularly backwards feather only to find out it had come loose. Not that he wanted to get used to this, or anything, because that would be stupid.

He was still kinda hoping that the wings would just disappear, as they had come, and the whole thing could be written off as an oddity due to... something.

Goku exhaled shakily and shook a wing after Sanzo had declared it finished. Sanzo had half a mind to run his hand through Goku's hair, too, because of the way that it stuck out one one side and was flat on the other. Somehow, he imagined Goku wouldn't take well to that.

"Sanzo," he said.

"Hm."

"Hakkai told you that I asked him if this was a punishment, didn't he?"

Sanzo paused, and realized that was probably answer enough. Might as well own up to it.

"Yeah."

"What do you think?"

"Cosmic joke," said Sanzo promptly, stealing Hakkai's words. They were good ones, anyway. "Not a punishment, necessarily."

"So you think it's... just... because? It just happened? And the gods are laughing at us?"

"Who cares?"

Goku thought about this for a moment, and seemed to accept it.

"Do you think it's... bad?"

"_No_," said Sanzo, vehemently. "I mean, I doubt it."

"I guess, what I mean is: you let me out of prison. What if this isn't like some kind of target on my back, in return for whatever it is that got me in the cave in the first place?"

Sometimes, Sanzo forgot how guilty Goku felt over the past he couldn't remember. However, that didn't even make sense, because they were already a target and if the gods wanted to put Goku back in the goddamn cave they would've done it.

"Do you want the wings gone?" asked Sanzo, realizing he was evading the question. But to be fair, it had been a pretty stupid question in the first place.

"I- I don't know," said Goku miserably. "I feel like there's something I don't know about them yet, you know? Like I'm only just starting to discover what they can do."

"Yes," said Sanzo, latching onto this, "I think that's true. So quit with the punishment stuff, okay? There's nothing they're punishing you about anymore, if they'd wanted to do that then they'd... put you back in the cave." _Take you away again_. "So obviously, they don't."

"You really think so?"

"I said it once, I'm not gonna say it again."

Sanzo tried to sound harsh, but Goku smiled and leaned against his pillow and let Sanzo sleep, and that was the end of that.

* * *

><p>"You know," said Gojyo, to Sanzo.<p>

"What?"

"I kind of like him better this way."

Goku, despite a couple of feeble first attempts, had actually managed to incorporate the wings into his fighting style, in a way that made them rather useful. Despite the rather sensitive nerve endings in them, they did not break under blows nor did any of the Sanzo party's enemies thus far have a knife capable of cutting into them. Goku was learning to use them as a shield.

"That's stupid," said Sanzo. "He's the same."

"No," said Gojyo thoughtfully, "No, I really don't think so. He's stronger, for one thing."

"He's been getting stronger as time passes. And he's always been this impulsive."

Gojyo swung his sickle, the curved end taking out a few demons. They'd leave the forest floor drenched in demon blood, the smell probably dragging out animals from miles around, Sanzo thought with disgust. It was a shame. It had been beautiful before they'd gotten there. He stepped backwards, leaves crunching under his feet, as a youkai came lurching at him. Gojyo took him out without even looking.

"Impulsive, yes. Graceful? No."

Sanzo watched, not yet ready to break out the scriptures, just letting the battle take place around him. He had decided that he was only gonna shoot if a demon particularly pissed him off, which one was doing currently by sneaking up behind Goku with a club. The bullet whizzed past Goku's ear.

"Hey! You almost got me!"

"But I didn't. Watch out for yourself, you stupid monkey. Behind you!"

Goku turned around just in time to catch another one trying the same thing, and took him out with a punch-kick-roundhouse-knee combo that truly was a beautiful thing to behold, using his feet almost as easily as his hands. They hadn't even needed the Nyoi-Bo today. Goku landed on his feet, the last of the demons taken out, and he let out a victory whoop that rang through the valley. Sanzo counted demons killed in his head, and went over Goku's moves throughout the battle.

"Okay, point taken," Sanzo muttered to Gojyo, "but he's still an idiot."

Gojyo smirked.

"Well, nobody's contested that."

* * *

><p>They managed to retreat to a small town on the outskirts of a forest, and cleaned their wounds. It was a mark of how much better they were getting at working together as a team- there were very few wounds to clean. And tonight, nobody had wanted to stay cooped up in a hotel room. They'd gone their separate ways.<p>

_Blue_, Sanzo thought, sitting on a bench in a park as twilight fell, and the moon lay low on the horizon, glowing yellow and huge against the trees. It was a shame that good orange paper and time to fold it into airplanes were two things that were hard to come by, on the move as frequently as they were. If Sanzo had them, he'd be folding them up and sending them out the window of the room at their inn, as high as he could manage. They wouldn't reach the moon, but he'd make a pretty good attempt at it, in order to watch them sailing back down again.

Sanzo sometimes missed the lazy times at the monastery- or, they were lazy in comparison to these. Bureaucratic nightmares were rather more metaphorical than the ones that Sanzo had these days, but they had been unpleasant back then all the same.

Goku's short cape-thing (seriously, what the hell was that, anyway) was a nice replacement for the planes, though, when Goku came to sit by him on the little bench. He was still wearing a giant cloak, but since they were alone right now, he took it off, spreading his wings over the back of the bench. There was a small ripping noise.

This happened quite often.

"Oops," said Goku quietly.

"We'll fix it later," Sanzo said.

They'd had to redo his shirts, Sanzo remembered suddenly, doing some of the needlework himself on the new buttons because Goku was pretty much incapable of doing it without poking all kinds of holes in his fingers. It was a nice memory, actually. Maybe. He hadn't minded, even though he'd threatened to shoot Gojyo once the camera came out.

"Hey, Sanzo," said Goku. "Whatcha thinking about?"

"Nothing," said Sanzo.

"That's not possible."

"Fine. I don't want to tell you what I'm thinking about." Sanzo scooted to the right an inch, determined to put as much space in between Goku and himself as possible.

The wings were another matter, and they brushed up against Sanzo's shoulders continually.

"You don't have to be so grumpy! I just wanted to talk."

"Why?"

"Because," said Goku, "I just do."

"About what?"

"I don't know! Anything."

Now Goku sounded grumpy. Which made Sanzo irritated, too. What had Goku come out here for? Goku had to know Sanzo didn't do idle chatter. This was going to devolve into some kind of scowl-fest and nobody was going to go back to the inn happy.

He focused his attention on the twinkling stars, not too bright now but that was because it wasn't dark enough for them to shine.

Sanzo imagined the arc that the paper airplane would make, sailing over the rooftops of the houses below their second-floor inn room. Or maybe, it'd be one of those ones that swooped upwards really fast, make a loop, and then fall straight down. Those were interesting, too.

He glanced up at the sky again. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Goku glance up with him, and then turn to face him.

What did he _want?_

"I'm not going out to buy you something to eat right now," Sanzo said, trying to figure out what would make Goku go away. But this, apparently, wasn't something Goku had wanted. He didn't even look disappointed.

"No, I know! Sheesh, Sanzo, can't I come sit by you without wanting food?"

"No."

Goku looked peevish.

"Well, fine, maybe I do want something to eat… but not really badly, 'cause I did just eat. No, I really just wanna know what you're thinking about."

Sanzo glanced at him. He could see the reflection of the moon in Goku's golden eyes, and the yellowy light from it didn't have any effect on the whiteness of his wings, though everything else about Goku had taken on that tint.

"Can you fly?" he asked.

Goku smiled, the white of his teeth flashing in the moonlight. A playful smile, but Sanzo never saw it without also noticing Goku's large canine teeth (of course, in Goku's Seiten Taisei form, he never saw Goku bare his teeth without thinking of this same smile. Made sense, kinda, since it was the same smile, but in the end it kinda didn't, either).

"Wanna find out?"

Sanzo had to admit there was a moment when Goku climbed up to the top of the nearest tree- a moment right before Goku decided to jump- that he was _kind of_ worried about the outcome, even if Goku was centuries old and, oh yeah, kind of _immortal_. But Goku didn't fall.

In fact, he soared.

"Check it out!" he hollered, going as high as he dared, cape whipping in the wind from his beating wings. It wasn't long before it fell off and tumbled in the wake of the air currents. Some townspeople might see. If Hakkai knew they were doing this, he wouldn't be happy with them. The whoop of joy that Goku let out clinched it: Sanzo didn't give a rat's furry gray ass.

No, he thought, reaching up to catch the cape as it sailed down towards him (still warm), he definitely didn't need the orange paper after all.

* * *

><p>That night, as Sanzo picked out leaves and twigs from Goku's wings after an unfortunate crash-landing, Goku lay on his stomach, eyes shut.<p>

"Mmph," he said, "Thanks, Sanzo. Some of 'em really kinda hurt."

Sanzo had one of the wings across his lap, one leg crossed over the other and the wing above that. It was funny how, if he focused on them, really closely, he sort of forgot that he was actually in contact with Goku, and that made it kind of okay.

"Don't mention it," he muttered. "I mean that."

Goku smiled lazily.

"It's kinda weird," he said, "sometimes people try to touch them, and that's uncomfortable. But if it's you, I don't mind. If it's you, it's... nice."

Sanzo ruffled them up a little bit, feeling for stray leaves, and Goku drew his breath in sharply, eyes opening and straightening up so he was leaning on his elbows.

"Uh," said Sanzo, pulling his hand back and wondering if he should apologize. "Did that hurt?"

"No," said Goku, "it- it so didn't hurt."

What the hell did that mean? Goku scrambled to sit up.

"Should- " Sanzo hated this kind of thing, what was he supposed to do? "Should I stop?"

"Hell no," said Goku. "I mean- " and here he went bright pink, "unless you want to."

Sanzo really did not. Except at the same time, he really did. He reached out to touch the wing again, running a hand over the top of it. Goku scooted forwards so that Sanzo could reach more easily, and the feathers were so soft on the top of the wing that Sanzo continued running his hand downwards. When he got to the flight feathers, Goku's breath hitched and he leaned forwards, mouth just a little bit parted, putting his hand on Sanzo's knee with just enough pressure to undo a lifetime of priestly and personal disinterest in carnal affairs.

So naturally this was the point at which Sanzo's brain kicked in with BAD IDEA BAD IDEA BAD IDEA and he leapt backwards, which caused Goku to fall off the bed and faceplant onto the floor. His wings narrowly missed knocking over the lamp.

"What the _hell_," complained Goku.

"Can't," said Sanzo, finding himself even less capable than usual of explaining himself.

Goku stared at him, with a multitude of facial expressions. Sanzo counted: one, shock; two, embarrassment; three, anger; and four, resignation.

"Right," said Goku, uncharacteristically viciously, "because I'm pretty sure you _can_. Those robes aren't exactly hiding everything, ya know."

Okay. So maybe some of Hakkai's particular brand of sarcasm was contagious.

Sanzo gritted his teeth and grabbed a pillow to place across his lap, because even the awkwardness of acknowledging his physical reactions (he still couldn't say it) was better than the awkwardness of having the evidence of his interest just be... out there, for Goku to glare at. The pillow wasn't nearly as nice as the wings.

"Won't, then," said Sanzo, willing to allow for small points to be argued because there were bigger things to worry about. Like the fact that he had almost-almost kissed Goku. Except it was better to talk about the smaller points because the alternative was the bigger points or nothing at all, and really, neither sounded like a good option. "When did you become a pedant?"

Goku's scowl deepened, and Sanzo wondered if that wasn't because he didn't know the meaning of the word pedant, and the person he always asked about things like this was Sanzo.

"When did you decide to actually do the whole priest thing right?"

"This isn't about that," said Sanzo, and that was the truth.

"So that was just... You're not... at all? You don't want this?" Goku sat down very quickly on his own bed.

Sanzo didn't know how to reply.

Goku, he thought, looking at him. Too old, but too immature, too. And those two things couldn't even out. Could they?

He remembered finding Goku, how small Goku had seemed. How surprising it had been that he was not fragile.

Sanzo hoped Goku wasn't fragile now.

"I," he started.

Goku shook his head. "Uh, so... I guess I screwed up."

Sanzo should've said,_ no, this was a big mistake on both sides, let's never speak of it again_. He wanted to say _you'll thank me for this later, when we realize this was just a phase_. So what if it was a lie (for Sanzo, anyway)? And there was, of course, the ever-present desire to say _no, you didn't screw up, I want this so fucking badly I think I'd probably gnaw off my own hand to get it and you didn't have to be a psychic to pick up on that_.

What he actually said was, "This is pointless." It was vague and it had no meaning and you couldn't connect it emotionally to what was going on, which was how Sanzo preferred things.

Goku stared at him, obviously trying to puzzle it out.

"I'm going to bed," Sanzo announced, and knew that tomorrow was going to suck.

Goku wasn't that fragile. He had been right. But Goku still got hurt, same as anyone else, and Sanzo had done that. It would be better for them in the end. Sanzo was going to cling to that.

During the brief session of sleep that he managed, he dreamt about orange sunsets and bluebirds.

* * *

><p>Sanzo said literally nothing the entire 8-hour ride. Goku complained less often about hunger, which meant Hakkai checked his fever at one point and Gojyo made snarky remarks about "Mom" and Sanzo decided Gojyo didn't need warnings any more.<p>

"Shit!" Gojyo rubbed at his stinging cheek. Sanzo put away the harisen. "What a violent priest."

Goku slunk down in his seat, the wings brushing Sanzo's legs. Sanzo vaguely wondered if this was on purpose, realized Goku had no control over where his wings were in the back seat of the car, and tried desperately to ignore the lightness of their touch against his skin.

"So," said Hakkai, breaking up the silence, "it seems as if we're gonna get a bit of action tonight."

"What kind?" said Gojyo.

"Not the kind you were hoping for, I'm afraid," said Hakkai. "I hear there's a rather large group of demons living in the forest in the town we're headed to."

* * *

><p>That night, Sanzo opted to room with Hakkai, which was going to cause all kinds of problems for Gojyo and Goku but they were nowhere near the problems they'd have if Goku and Sanzo ended up rooming together the way that they usually did. Sanzo did what he usually did when things got to be too problematic, which was to find a bar downtown (where Goku and Gojyo were unlikely to look for him), and fully enjoy the use of his gold credit card.<p>

Hakkai was another matter, and he found Sanzo fairly quickly.

"So," said Hakkai, taking in the quantity of shot glasses that lay in front of Sanzo. Probably the cigarrette packs didn't escape his notice either, Sanzo thought, although the moment was kind of a blur. In fact, by this point, everything was kind of a blur, and not the pleasant buzzy kind. "I take it things are difficult at the moment?"

"What gave you that idea?"

Hakkai sat down next to him (probably at one point Sanzo had threatened to or actually attempted to shoot another bar patron, he wasn't really sure anymore, but whichever it was, he had in fact succeeded in clearing a wide berth around himself) and signalled to the bartender. Sanzo didn't catch what he said, but the bartender brought Hakkai a drink.

"It's just," said Sanzo, waving a cigarette at Hakkai, who dodged it. "I... I don't know."

"Is it Goku?" asked Hakkai quietly.

Sanzo couldn't even say that much, not to Hakkai, who pretty much was the epitome of calm and collected ever since... well, ever since right after he'd been the epitome of furious and unrelenting rage, Sanzo guessed.

No. He couldn't tell Hakkai what he thought. It was patently ridiculous. He couldn't try to explain to Hakkai the way that things with Goku had turned Sanzo from ordinary issues to complete mess.

And okay, so Sanzo on a regular basis took the cake when it came to being a mess. He was a complete and utter disaster. He was an unrepentant murderer, alcoholic, smoking, angry, priest-in-name-only, poor bastard who had gotten stuck in a ridiculous war in Heaven and Earth, and there was nothing he wanted in the world, not even to be out of it.

Except until now, because now, he wanted Goku, like he'd never wanted anything before. He wanted to bury his face in Goku's wings, breathe deeply, and never let go. But it was more than that, too, he realized, because he also wanted Goku himself, in a way he had never wanted human contact before (and technically speaking, didn't want now, because Goku was hardly human in a literal sense). He wanted to touch him, to see his golden eyes light up, to run his hands through Goku's hair and to see him smile, hear him laugh. He wanted to kiss him, and fuck him, and whatever the hell else all of that meant.

He _wanted, _and that alone was enough for serious ramifications, religiously and within his divine mission-

Except that was all bullshit, because what Sanzo really meant was "I fucking hate this feeling."

"I," he opened his mouth to explain to Hakkai, who was smiling at him expectantly, "I want- "

Hakkai's eyes widened.

"Go on," he said curiously, taking out his monocle to shine it against his shirt.

Sanzo threw up right then, which hadn't happened since he was 12. It sort of precluded any sort of heart-to-heart, which was just fine actually. Hakkai helped him back to the hotel, and Sanzo fell asleep, miserable.

* * *

><p>Hakkai woke him up at 3 am, and Sanzo had a massive headache, and the alcohol had not yet entirely left his system.<p>

"If this isn't an emergency- " he began to growl. Hakkai raised an eyebrow, and that was when he realized that Gojyo and Goku were in the room, too.

"You think I'd wake you up for something stupid? There are demons looking for us out there."

"So drive them off and get back to bed."

"There are a lot of demons," said Gojyo. "Oh, sorry, did I say a lot? I meant a whole fucking army of them, practically. Goons, but what can you do- oh, and some of them have fucking guns."

Sanzo sat up.

"Fine," he said.

Gojyo looked at Hakkai.

"Hakkai and I can go out and try to take out as many as we can," he said. "Sanzo, is that all right? Goku can stay here with you."

"Um," said Hakkai, making his polite-interruption face that involved a rather cold smile, "I don't think- "

"It's fine," said Sanzo. Goku didn't say anything, so Sanzo figured he didn't care, either.

"Any minute now," said Gojyo, peering out the window, "they're gonna get to the innkeeper's dau- "

There was a high-pitched girlish scream.

"That's our cue," said Hakkai, and he and Gojyo left.

Goku and Sanzo were left alone. Sanzo didn't know what to say.

_Sorry I fondled your feathers yesterday? Sorry you kind of groped me and you fell off the bed because I freaked out? Sorry I haven't spoken to you all day?_

_Sorry that you don't realize this is the worst idea in the world?_

Sorry, in general, was not in Sanzo's vocabulary, but looking at Goku awkwardly staring at the lamp on the bedside table he wondered if maybe it was the time to make an exception.

Like hell, he decided, rather vindictively. It was better this way. Detachment, that was what was important. Keeping out of stupid things that would only screw up their divine mission.

On the other hand, Sanzo had never been one for lying to himself.

And that was the problem in the first place. Because he hadn't planned it- he hadn't meant to- it had just happened, and despite all of his efforts to the contrary, despite years without interest in sex or love, some stupid whiny brat came along and became the most important thing in Sanzo's life and it really wasn't even about sex or love, it was about the stupid whiny brat.

There was a crash against the door, which meant that the demons had found them.

Hakkai and Gojyo, though they were probably fine, couldn't hold all of the demons off, not if there were as many as Gojyo said, and it was at this point in Sanzo's breakthrough that they burst in through the door. Five of them, to be exact, but more were probably on the way.

"Here we go," said Goku softly, and leapt. Sanzo shot two of them as Goku dealt with the other three.

_Not so bad_, thought Sanzo, _although they'll keep coming in faster_.

And so they did. More kept flooding in, until they had to wonder about Hakkai and Gojyo. But sounds from outside told them that those two were dealing just fine, if the occasional few slipped past.

Sanzo and Goku were also managing it until five burst in with guns, and Sanzo was fast to draw his, but not even he could deal with five all at once. Shit, he thought in a brief, blind panic, not now, I should've at least said s-

A wing shot out in front of Sanzo, just as a gunshot cracked through the air. The wing shuddered, but nothing happened. The youkai stared at them- Goku in particular.

"Oh my God," breathed Goku, "they're bulletproof. And it only kinda stings."

Suddenly, Sanzo was wrapped in feathers, and they were getting in his mouth and his eyes and his nose, and he was crushed against Goku, who had pulled them up against the wall and was currently shielding him with as much feather surface area as he could. There were a couple more half-hearted shots at the wings- Sanzo could feel the shock of them through the feathers, it was going to leave bruises- and then nothing.

"Sorry, Sanzo," said Goku, from behind Sanzo, his breath tickling Sanzo's ears in a way that would lead to something highly embarrassing in approximately three seconds, if Sanzo was right, "but I wasn't really sure what else to do, and Hakkai and Gojyo can take care of themselves, right?"

Hakkai and Gojyo, Sanzo could hear, were still having a battle of their own in the next room over. So yeah, they could take care of themselves.

"Okay," said Sanzo, unable to breathe, and not because the wings were crushing him or anything. His heart pounded in his chest. "You need to fucking let me shoot those youkai, you stupid monkey, so... I don't know, give me a hole in these stupid wings to see through."

"Got it," said Goku, not at all insulted. In fact, he was probably pleased that Sanzo was speaking to him again, and Sanzo even guessed that maybe he wasn't fooling anyone anymore with the condescending "you dumbass" approach to leadership. Goku moved one of the wings so that Sanzo could see through it a little, and wedge the barrel of his gun through. The youkai were staring at each other, one of them shrugging his shoulders at the others in what was clearly a what-do-we-do-now query. _Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang._

_Bang._

_Nothing_, Sanzo answered for them (if only in his head).

Which left the two of them alone. Sanzo turned to face him, an act which involved a lot of rubbing up against Goku and became highly awkward, extremely fast, for both parties. Goku still didn't let him out of the makeshift wing-cage. Maybe Goku hadn't noticed the way that both of them were reacting to this?

Yeah, and maybe, one of these days, Goku was going to sprout donkey ears to go with the wings.

"More- more might come in," Goku explained, although a furious blush was creeping up on his face. Sanzo suddenly realized that, in the hand that wasn't clutching the gun, his fingers were entwined with the feathers. He let go. Goku's blush didn't go away. He'd relaxed his wings so that they weren't pressed up against one another, but that didn't mean that they were at any distance that Sanzo normally would have considered outside his personal space.

"So," said Sanzo. "Bulletproof. That's... actually kinda useful."

"Yeah!" said Goku excitedly. "You were right. There was something useful about them."

There was a silence. Goku's breath was hot against Sanzo's collarbone, and his hair, against all odds, smelled kinda nice. Useful though it might have been, the bulletproof wings were fucking _awkward_.

"There don't seem to be any more youkai coming," Sanzo said.

"Right," said Goku slowly.

Goku's eyes shone gold, even in the dark cold moonlight, and there was a look on his face Sanzo hadn't really seen before. It was a more subtle version of his usual wicked grin, and Sanzo figured that maybe this was one of those times to drag out the old platitude "you learn something new every day." Specifically, in this case, that Goku was capable of subtlety. Sanzo put up an arm bracing himself against the wall-_too close too close too close_- but at the same time, he didn't... want to leave.

Sanzo sort of expected Hakkai or Gojyo to burst into the room at the moment.

They didn't.

He glanced back at Goku, who was still looking at him, cheeks flushed and wicked grin still in place. Then the grin disappeared, and Goku actually looked kind of serious.

_Shit_, thought Sanzo.

"Sanzo," Goku said, a little breathlessly, "can I k- "

Sanzo pushed outwards, with the hand that was balancing him against the wall, and broke through Goku's wing-shield. Probably partly due to shock, and due to the fact that he hadn't quite mastered the use of them yet, Goku's wings parted easily, and Sanzo went to sit on his bed, while the wings fell back. He inspected the bullet holes in the wall, several feet away from Goku. Goku remained where he was. He folded his arms, and stared stubbornly at his shoes.

"Go check on Hakkai and Gojyo," said Sanzo, running a hand through his hair.

Goku didn't say anything, just did it. Sanzo stared at the place where he had been for a moment, wishing Goku would've complained about the task, whined about food, anything but just done what he'd said (he had half a mind to level his gun at Goku's form and demand that the impostor quit it), then dug around in his pockets for a cigarette.

When he found one and lit up, refusing to admit to himself that his hands were shaking, Goku came back in.

"They're fine," he said flatly, shutting the door behind himself a little louder than was necessary. "I told them the wings were bulletproof. Hakkai was already asleep on a bed in the other room."

"So you're staying here," said Sanzo.

"Yeah," said Goku. "If you don't mind."

Sanzo refused to look at him. Goku turned over in his bed, and Sanzo smoked for as long as he could stand being awake.

* * *

><p>The next morning, everyone was sleep-deprived and shorter with each other than usual. Or, everyone except Sanzo, who had decided that he just wasn't going to talk. Hakkai kept looking between Sanzo and Goku like he thought something was different, but wasn't sure what and was afraid to ask. Gojyo's sarcasm was even less well-received than usual, and after the third punch that Goku threw, even Gojyo could tell something was wrong, and shut up.<p>

It was Hakkai who had to deal with the sudden shift southwards in group dynamics. Sanzo's harisen, despite the bad mood, didn't come out even once. Too much of a trouble, he thought, and besides, he didn't even want to think about how he was screwing things up.

But even a bad mood didn't keep Goku from being hungry, although it was that same bad mood in the Sanzo-ikkou that probably kept him from getting lunch until late in the afternoon.

Hakkai sipped at tea, having cleared a plate in record timing- while Goku and Gojyo were busy clearing four or five. Sanzo was not particularly hungry. After lunch, Hakkai professed a desire to wander around the town briefly, and Sanzo professed a need to stay out of that stupid cramped car for a little while longer.

They left the gold card with Goku and Gojyo, and wandered down the street.

"So," said Hakkai, "Goku didn't ask for your leftovers at lunch today. And you didn't eat."

Sanzo glanced at him.

"So?"

"Did... something happen?"

Sanzo scowled at him.

"No. Nothing- what the hell does that even mean?"

Hakkai shrugged.

"Just wondering."

"Well, you can keep your wondering to yourself," said Sanzo.

"And if something did happen," said Hakkai, very softly, in that way that the monks always did when they wanted the classes of students to shut up, "I would tell you that you've got to do something about it, because this isn't fair to him. I've told you before, he cares about you a great deal. You've got to tell him he's got the wrong idea. You're just hurting him. And- no matter what you say, I know that's the last thing you want."

"He doesn't," said Sanzo. Hakkai had meant that to hurt, Sanzo knew, and it _did_, just not in the way Hakkai had evidently expected, and his jaw dropped. He was, however, Sanzo's... closest friend (probably), for a reason, and that was that he quickly shut his mouth and resumed his placid smile. And that, Sanzo knew, would be the end of that can of worms.

As for the topic at hand, Sanzo knew what Hakkai was saying. He had known it all along, but he couldn't- he just couldn't let this happen, let whatever it was that he felt towards Goku grow. It was even less fair to Goku. It'd trap them in something. It'd change everything.

And for Sanzo it brought up reminders of nasty rumors that had always stung deeper than Sanzo could explain, which had always had the most sickening sense of deja vu attached. (That had always been weird, because Sanzo had only ever been on the other side of those kinds of rumors- had always received the _pity_ with which others treated what they assumed to be a young toy. And the deja vu that Sanzo felt was due to the _suspicion_ with which others treated him...)

Whatever. He had to explain it to Hakkai.

"But I can't. You know- you were there- At the monastery."

Hakkai looked puzzled for a moment. Sanzo couldn't bring himself to explain further. They were straying into dangerous emotional territory for him, and he really couldn't stand it.

"Oh... You mean what they used to say about you and Goku?"

Sanzo nodded. Hakkai frowned, fiddling with his monocle in a way he sometimes did when he was trying to work something out.

"I suppose I don't know what to tell you," said Hakkai. "You'll just... have to figure out what's best for you."

"It would be best if it had never happened," Sanzo grumbled.

"Well, as they say," Hakkai laughed, and how dare he? This was serious, this was their whole group relationships at stake- "No use crying over spilled milk. You're not at the monastery anymore. And it should have never mattered to you what they said. It wasn't true at the time, I know because you told me, so why is it still bothering you?"

Sanzo turned around and went back to the restaurant where Goku and Gojyo were grinning happily at each other from over a large pile of empty dishes. Hakkai trailed after him, faintly bemused.

"We're leaving," said Sanzo, handing over the card to the startled waitress, who dealt with their bill as quickly as possible.

* * *

><p>The demons caught up with them again that night. Having known that the demons were coming, they decided that they'd prefer to keep driving, as opposed to risk an entire inn's worth of bystanders.<p>

Nobody was much in a mood for sleeping, anyway.

Four leapt in front of their car, snarling.

"Here we go," said Gojyo, and took off towards the east. Hakkai swerved the Jeep and ran to deal with the northern side. Sanzo would have preferred to use the Jeep as a hiding place, except Hakuryu had other ideas and flew off to join Hakkai, landing the rest of them unceremoniously on the ground. Sanzo stood up shakily. Fine. Whatever. He'd deal with them face to face.

That, too, did not pan out. Yeah, sure, Goku dealt quickly with the scores of demons wielding sticks and clubs, but Sanzo ended up behind a tree, hiding from the few with guns, which was where Goku found him about twenty minutes later.

Goku caught him in his wings again, bullets bouncing off. This time, however, they were not backed up against a wall, and Sanzo could see the youkai coming up behind them. Goku's wings could only reach so far if he was also covering Sanzo.

And it was dark, in the forest they'd ended up in. Sanzo could barely see, since the moonlight had difficulty shining through the thick treetops.

"You know, there are youkai behind you, too," said Sanzo. "How do you plan on shielding yourself from those?"

"Easy," said Goku, and he said it so convincingly that Sanzo really did believe him. "You shoot 'em all. I've got your back covered, and kinda mine too."

"You might as well fight," said Sanzo. "I don't need your protection. I can take care of myself."

"Maybe later," said Goku. "Thin 'em out, all right? Then I'll go fight."

And so Sanzo found himself pressed even tighter against Goku, in what was possibly an attempt to cover as much of Goku's back as possible, but might have in fact been some kind of ploy for Goku to hug him. Goku was certainly sneaky that way, and for that, Sanzo might have pistol-whipped him (it was a little difficult to get out the harisen at the moment), but for the fact that Sanzo kind of... didn't mind. So instead, he clutched the back of Goku's head and shot at the youkai over Goku's shoulders.

Even though it was awkward, they made short work of the few that were left, and even managed to turn around- "Hang on," Goku said, and picked him up, turning 180 degrees. The world spun.

"What the _hell- _Oh."

The ones that didn't die ran off. They stayed there.

It was a mutual choice this time. Sanzo was uncomfortable, sure, but on the other hand, he _wanted_ this.

Surprisingly, he wasn't nervous at all, not even as Goku studied him. They didn't move apart. _Goku's eyes are_, Sanzo thought, and didn't finish it, because it seemed stupid to use the words _beautiful_ or _nice_ or any of those other things.

No matter what they meant, Sanzo had always liked Goku's eyes.

"This time," said Goku, "I'm not gonna try asking, 'cause if you don't like it you'll let me know," and he kissed Sanzo, which made the world spin and the gunshots in the distance matter hardly at all.

Goku pulled him closer again, and turned out to be kind of aggressive, which somehow made everything so much better, although Sanzo surprised the both of them by running his hands through Goku's hair, and somehow _not_ tugging on all the knots (stupid kid could stand to brush his hair every once in a while). They ended up tangled together, wings and arms and legs in a giant jumble of _need to be close to you_.

Probably they should be more careful of the guns. Sanzo usually didn't give a shit, but it would be stupid to accidentally shoot himself right now. He switched on the safety, and put it on the ground next to him. Fuck youkai, right now, fuck everything that wasn't Goku's mouth on his, fuck everything that wasn't Goku's hands on his arms or face or in his hair.

Sanzo couldn't see anything through the feathers- or... oh. He'd closed his eyes. The feathers brushed against them, pulling them closer together and shielding them from the world around them, even with the threat gone.

Sanzo's vehemence was not lost on Goku.

"I wanted this," said Goku, "for so long, and you just- you just shot me down- and you wanted it as badly- you bastard!"

"Shut up," said Sanzo, although it didn't come out as harshly as it usually did.

"I love you," said Goku. What an idiot.

"It's kinda soon for that," muttered Sanzo. "Uh... are you- are you crying? Quit it!"

Goku leaned his head against Sanzo's chest, and sniffled.

"No," said Goku. "It kinda isn't too soon, actually."

"What the hell's that supposed to mean?"

Not like Sanzo didn't know. This had been a long time coming. Maybe not since the very beginning- certainly not since the cave, or even the monastery after that, but... for a while. Since the beginning of the journey at least.

"I wonder where the wings came from," said Goku suddenly, breathlessly.

"Shut up," said Sanzo again, running a hand through the feathers and making Goku gasp-moan-shiver.

"Right," said Goku, "it so doesn't matter. As long as you keep doing th-_that, oh my God_."

"Glad we agree," said Sanzo. He paused for a minute, not knowing whether what he was going to say would change everything. It might. It might not. It wasn't anything that anyone looking at them didn't already know, anyway. And it had always been the truth.

"I... love you, too," he said.

Goku laughed ("Why're you always so stupid about these things, Sanzo?"), and kissed him again.

Hakkai and Gojyo came back to find them in an incredibly compromising position, although Hakkai just laughed and Gojyo raised his eyebrows ("So I guess this explains what the hell's been wrong with you two over the past few weeks...") and Goku kind of licked at Sanzo's jaw, which was way more interesting than Sanzo had ever thought it could be, and then everything was back to kind-of-normal, because Gojyo teased Goku and Sanzo hit them with his fan and Hakkai started up the Jeep.

There were gonna be more demons tomorrow, but that was okay. They went on.

* * *

><p>"Well," said Kanzeon Bosatsu, "Okay, so I will admit I did mean to shake them up a little and give them a gift. <em>Change<em> things. Make it interesting. They were too complacent, the way that they were! I just wanted to do something that would... make them pay attention to each other, but not change everything. Not make them hate each other."

Jiroushin looked perturbed.

"I guess it worked a little too well," the Merciful Goddess added, with resignation.

He glanced at her, thinking over Goku and Sanzo- Goku and Konzen, too.

"I guess I don't know how we could have expected much else," he said.

Kanzeon Bosatsu shrugged, and smirked.

"Maybe the nerve endings in the wings _were_ a bit much," she admitted. "And Ko- Genjo Sanzo... Well, who knew he would react like _that?_"

"You certainly couldn't have," said Jiroushin.

"But really, they do call me 'Merciful' for a reason," said Kanzeon Bosatsu. "Which is why I'm not going to take them away."

"Of course," Jiroushin agreed.

"And anyway," she added, "they've got much harder things coming. Poor boys, they don't even know... A little bit of armor wouldn't hurt. And they're a team. This appears to have only strengthened that."

Jiroushin poured her tea, and gazed over at the flower fields of Heaven.

"You know," he said, "I think you're right."

And he actually meant it, too.

"I'm always right."


End file.
